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Trusting Yourself

February 23, 2015

Wrong Way Sign

How many addicted start out with hope and belief that they can fight their addiction and then lose all hope from stress, the urge to drink again and the awful feelings that you must struggle through to head for or reach recovery? Hope makes you feel that you will reach your goal, while hopelessness, means you lose all confidence that you can do it. So what do you do? You take the comfortable action; you quit. I think you don’t realize that a high percentage of addicts are fighting the same battle. It’s normal to experience these feelings. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It took years to get where you are now so it will take years to recover, and a lifetime of wanting to fall back.

What you want is instant or fast results with no hills to climb. Anything in life, even not being addicted to alcohol or drugs, is a battle to reach with changes. Everyone likes to stay with things that we are familiar with, and friends who … we thought liked us, even if falling back puts us in the same nightmare. What you are fighting is fear. No one likes that road of the unknown. Once you make it, you will come to realize that you had nothing to fear but yourself. The help is there with the professionals, you were just fighting your bodies wanting that drug or drink. It’s our insides and minds that are our enemies.

You have to give 100% going into a detox center, counseling, doctors or centers to stay until you dry out. If not, you will not make the life without using. My daughter, Lori, went three times into rehabs, and we know deep down that she wanted to give her habit up, but she didn’t want the fight. She feared opening up, believe it or not, even crying, so she kept the garbage deep down inside her instead of reaching for the stars.

You need to start looking at who you really are without a drink. Maybe you forgot that person. Yes, not perfect, but you were happy doing things with family and friends. Events that were without the struggle of explaining to others why you failed yourself and them with broken promises. You desired being with friends with the same habit so no one thought your actions were wrong.

Once you step away from your routine, you will come to see that your daily lives where filled with abuse, fear and confusion. No one wants to live like that once you walk away from that life. “One Day at a Time” is a good statement. When you think of the work ahead of you, you freeze. It’s like a person needing to lose 200 pounds. They look at the whole picture of all that weight instead of saying I will lose 2 pounds per week. Why not? What’s your hurry? At least you are going in the right direction.

Look at yourself every single day in the mirror and say, “I deserve to be happy.” Lower your pride and tell family that you need their support more than life itself. Let them realize while you are struggling this battle not to pressure you with “You’ll never do it.” You don’t need the questions and having to explain to everyone why you went on this road. Tell them to let you handle this your way with the professionals without coming home to a family bringing up the past with your actions or how you hurt them. Once you feel comfortable to open up, and I’m sure it will take months, think seriously about having family counseling, even if you say things that someone did that hurt you. They may not even know you suffered from something they did to you.

Counseling will help you to learn to forgive yourself and others who hurt you. If you can’t forgive, you stay stuck. Don’t let another person, who might have been more sick than you, stop you from being happy again. Forgiving does not mean the person was right, it means you want to move forward. Guilt you carry from actions in the past, may not be your fault. Others might have done things to you that was caused from their sickness.

Talk to professionals on what “caused” you to become an alcoholic or drug addict more than the disease. You need to get that garbage out of you or holding the pain deep within you, will keep you from facing the hurt from the past. Cry..Cry..Cry without any guilt whether you are a man or woman. That is why God gave us tears. Tears heal, tears help you to let go, tears takes tons of pressure off you so you can go on and talk about what caused those tears.

And most of all, give it up to God. He waits every single day for you to reach out to him. He gives you choices and you make them; good or bad. You are never alone with Him. Get to a church or anywhere you pray and put your life into His hands. Believe, have faith, have hope, forgive when you fall back and get up without saying you can’t do the steps to recover. Hang out with the people who want the same as you…recovery.


Overcoming Alcoholism

December 19, 2014 on Mar 21, 2014″>Published on Mar 21, 2014

Recovery from the bondage of chronic alcohol abuse and alcoholism is possible. Discover the real solution.

Watch this program, read the transcript and request the booklet “Overcoming Alcoholism: There Is Hope!” at…

Overcoming Alcoholism: There Is Hope!…
Alcoholism is a terrible disease that ravages the body and destroys relationships. It’s also a spiritual sickness that keeps alcoholics from having a strong relationship with God and Jesus Christ. If you or someone you know is suffering with the burden of alcohol addiction, this study aid can help you begin to break free and start living an abundant, alcohol-free life.

What happens to the family of the addicted?

November 4, 2014

Alberta.hat“>“>Most topics are about the addicted when we see a problem with alcohol or drug abuse. What about the family members? We somehow get lost in the fear, conflict and abuse. How many times do we all say, “If only I could turn the clock back.” I’d like to take the time to list some things that I would handle differently today, if I could do that.

1. The signs of Richie having a drinking problem were right in front of me when I met him at eighteen years old. The problem was that I had no education on addiction. I made all excuses for him by decisions made from my emotions and heart instead of my head without an open mind to what was really facing me for the future.

2. I gave up a three-year relationship with another man that was crazy about me. The precious gift from Richie was our two daughters. Why do us woman go for the bad guy, the one with the mystery behind him, the one we swear we can change, or the womanly emotions that we know how deeply he is in love with us, and the last…..we can change him!

2. After two years of marriage, I made no serious demands on Richie getting professional help or us getting counseling as soon as I saw his staying out with friends after work stopping off at the bar with his friends was now becoming a problem.

3. I had allowed this process to go on for close to fourteen years, in-between the four restraining orders (3 which I broke), and the enabling, innocently, helping Richie go deeper into his alcohol addiction.

4. Did we seek out help? Yes, but my then, Richie was still in denial that he had a problem. After all, his friends were doing the same and none of their wives fought about it. After two months, counseling at an A.A. location together and two more months if individual counseling, my feelings and patience, hope, and belief in him stopped, like shutting off a light switch.

5. Any damage to us? Plenty. I had a small breakdown and my daughters, Debbie and Lori, grew up with no security, fear and lost their youth with enjoying life with two parents showing love instead of witnessing the abuse in the family.

***Next post, I will talk about the mistake I made with handling my daughter Lori’s battle with addiction.

Books are available in paperback and Kindle:

Reviews of A Spiritual Renewal: A Journey to Medjugorje

October 10, 2014

Spiritual Renwal

Beautiful Memoir
By Chris
Format:Kindle Edition
This book is a heart-felt, moving memoir of the author’s father, Brigadier General, Albert L. Gramm, and her journey to find inner peace and renewal of life. She shares her life story from a child to the present with beautiful photos included throughout the book. She shares her struggles and pain when her father gets diagnosed with cancer and has to say goodbye. Her hunger for God leads her to a journey to Medjugorje that brings the inner healing and peace that she was looking for.


Parents Addicted and Their Children

September 4, 2014“>

Sayings for Strength

August 16, 2014

autumn in boston public garden

“No matter our age, every new day we are learning by listening, teaching by our actions, and we graduate as we move from one phase of our life to another.”

NORMA COMFORT, 92, of Knoxville, Tennessee

Second Part to the Introduction in the Book/ Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round

May 14, 2014


Second Part to the Introduction:

The alcoholic themselves can become acutely aware that they are drowning in drink and still don’t feel the need or have the willpower to get help. For them, the battle to give up liquor has too many side effects, and it’s too hard to combat the habit, especially if this life-style has been going on for years.

It’s a struggle every day for an alcoholic to just get out of bed. Many spend their days sleeping. They skip meals because their appetite has disappeared, thereby causing more damage to their health because their bodies breakdown from lack of proper nutrition to keep them stable.

Many alcoholics who have tried to fight the disease don’t relish the unpleasant physical effects of going without a drink; instead, they give in and turn back to drinking. In their mind, taking a drink is the only way to stop the effects of withdrawal. They fear going to any public place , and the drinking imprisons them in their own home behind closed doors.

Their lives and minds are constantly in a confused state. Alcoholics live in uncertainty that immobilizes them. They find it hard to do anything for themselves or their families. All confidence disappears. They make up all kinds of stories in order to avoid doing anything that makes them uncomfortable.

The Third Part of the Introduction to follow at the next posting: Can’t wait? Purchase the book at the link below.

Review from a reader:

Truth in every page 
By meme

I couldn’t put this book down. I have been unable to read a complete book for the last 8 years and this one I couldn’t put down. Not only is it an easy read but anyone who has been in an alcoholic marriage will find comfort in this. This is not a self help book but it gives you the realization that someone else has felt exactly what you felt and you were not crazy.

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