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Happy Birthday, Lori!

July 29, 2016

Lori's picture for book (2)

 

Lori,
God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be, so He put his arms around you, and whispered, “Come to me.”
With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away. Although we love you dearly, we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best!
Love and Miss you, “Happy Birthday!”Al and Mom

Do You Want to Recover?

July 13, 2016

Should Massachusetts Legalize Marijuana?

June 5, 2016

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It’s scary that this substance has the chance to be legalized in Massachusetts. When are we going to say no to laws that are dangerous to our children, parents, friends, siblings, or just human beings?

If you are not fighting drugs or alcohol abuse in your family, this is another uninteresting topic to put a checkmark next to with voting. Another question that so many have no understanding of the dangers by checking off “yes.”

This is the beginning of drug use, and this use will take you deeper into hell than you can imagine. I lost a husband and daughter to substance abuse. I talked behind closed doors tat halfway homes, court-ordered programs and rehabilitation centers to addicts who admitted to starting off innocently with marijuana.

Their lives are upside down with losing family, children, jobs, homes, friends and sadly, themselves. They have no idea how to wake up in the morning and feel normal…which included being happy and working everyday like most of us. Now, normal to them is looking for the high to start the day and end with it. Their minds are mush. They can’t think or do anything but lay in a corner while their bodies are slowly dying.

What harm can it do? After all, it helps people. Yes, in many cases it does with an illness. Let the “yes” come from professionals who knows the person needs it for their medical reasons.

Doctors and counselors can’t get the death rate down now, so why add marijuana to the list. Stop taking the easy way out with marking the “yes” box. Help us who are trying to stop the drug use. Marking “yes” is like passing out the drug yourself. You have become a drug dealer!

You never know when you or a loved one will be in this category and have a law passed that will send one of you to a cemetery.

Alberta Sequeira: www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com

Purchase books: http://amazon.com/author/albertasequeira:

Email: alberta.sequeira@gmail.com

Which path to take?

May 21, 2016

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We usually have two choices facing a problem. We come to a V in a road and wonder which one to travel down. The problem is we can’t see the outcome.

We all make bad decisions. The wonderful thing is if we can correct the mistake. People who have been told they are in the last stage of cancer or get in a car accident and are paralyzed for life, can’t do anything about it.

But, a substance abuser can. You can fight. You can correct the mistake by getting professional help, staying out of the bars, stop meeting the drug dealer, give up the drinking friends who drag you down with them, stop the fighting with your mate and get to a counselor, stop yelling at your kids when you are angry and frighten them, stop drinking when you drive.

So much to change and give up, but so much to gain. Don’t do it alone. The demon has a grip on you. Break the chain and get your life back.

~Alberta Sequeira

 

 

Marijuana: A Second Class Addiction

May 21, 2016

Yes, 29 minutes is a long time to watch a video. It can become boring. How bad you want help and understanding of addiction will make the video a life-saver.

~Alberta Sequeira

Getting out of Denial

April 2, 2016

 

man praying on hill

“I felt empty and sad for years, and for a long, long time, alcohol worked. I’d drink, and all the sadness would go away. Not only did the sadness go away, but I was fantastic. I was beautiful, funny, I had a great figure, and I could do math. But at some point, the booze stopped working. That’s when drinking started sucking. Every time I drank, I could feel pieces of me leaving. I continued to drink until there was nothing left. Just emptiness.”

DINA KUCERA, Everything I Never Wanted to Be: A Memoir of Alcoholism and Addiction

 

Love an Alcoholic, but Make Choices for You!

March 2, 2016

Alberta at Tony's

Many family members have a hard time detaching from the alcoholic. We react to the problem, which is what they want us to do. We feel guilty if we don’t hold up the alcoholic. If we spend all our energy on the alcoholic, we become part of the problem.

If the alcoholic keeps coming to you with the same problem over and over again, tell them to come back and talk later when they can think of an opportunity or solution to their problem.

Here is an example: Say your son/daughter calls claiming their mate has left with the children leaving them alone. They can’t afford to pay the rent or bills. They will become homeless with no job. They ask to come home.

Now, your “parent” reaction is to save them. Step back, take a deep breath, and slowly with no anger or judging, tell them you love them and would like to help. Explain that you have seen them with an addiction problem, and if they are willing to go into treatment to get help, you will help them in any way possible.

Tell them to call their job site and see if they have an employee assistance program for alcohol addiction and see if they will make the arrangements that day to get them into the location. Let them take responsibility of their illness by letting them make the call. Also, have them call the apartment administrator and explain about going into an recovery program. If you can afford it, you would be willing to help make some payments for their rent to keep the place open for when they come home.

At this point they are desperate and may agree.  If they refuse, say to them, “It’s your choice. If you change your mind call me.” Keep your focus on yourself, rather being caught up in the crisis. This reaction from you can be the first step for them to realize where their life is heading without professional help. Don’t enable! If they still say no, don’t carry the guilt of their added problems. It’s theirs, not yours. Know by putting this choice in their hands is a way of getting them into a recovery program.

Remember, focusing on the alcoholic is focusing on the problem. Walking away from it, keeps you from being trapped in the problem. Don’t become the manager of the alcoholic’s problems, become the team who creates solutions.

Stepping back is love. We think it isn’t. Doing everything for their problems is not helping them, and we bring them deeper into their addiction. We can love and support them, but they have to do the work to recover. They have to do it for themselves because they want to get sober.

Alberta Sequeira
Email: alberta.sequeira@gmail.com

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