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Choices for the Alcoholic and Drug Addict

January 19, 2018


I guess every person in life has “Choices.” How many of us wish we could turn the clocks back with our decisions? I’m one of them. Once the choice is made we look at and feel the results. If they are good, we are to be congratulated. What if they have devastated our lives?

Our next step is to decide how to fix the mistake with another choice. We are all human, and at one time or another, we turn down the wrong path. Substance abusers have two paths facing them as the rest of us.

Being free with the use of alcohol and drugs made you hooked on them. It’s not an easy action to change, especially, if you let it go on for years. My daughter, Lori, said to me a few months before her death, “This may sound crazy, Mom, but the best time of my life was when I was drinking.” I replied, “To you, it was, but look where you are from thinking it was just fun.”

Lori died eight months later at the Charlton Memorial Hospital in Fall River, Massachusetts from cirrhosis of the liver. The disease she feared dying from like her father as she stayed by his bedside at the VA Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island when he died at forty-five years old. The same disease Lori died from at thirty-nine with her daughter and son by her side in her hospital bed. Lori was seventeen when her father died, and her daughter was seventeen when Lori died.

You can change. “YOU” need to make the choice. Family can love and support you, but you have to do the work to reach sobriety. Don’t use excuses that you’ve tried and it’s too hard, you have no family to help support you, the cost is too much in a rehab, you can give it up anytime, and the list can go on to 50 pages.

First, admit you are helpless in this situation. Be honest with family members (and yourself) that you want and need professional help. As hard as it is, open up to the counselors about your past. Your past is what got you here. Maybe you followed friends and thought it was fun, like Lori. Maybe you thought it was a stage you could give up at anytime. Did your past hurts come from living in an alcoholic environment with alcoholic parents, or did someone mentally and physically abused you? Did your classmates pick on you and caused you to lose your confidence? Maybe you felt isolated from friends. Whatever the incident(s) were, face them. If not, you will take them to the grave as my husband, Richie, and Lori did. Don’t become a number with the death count from users.

God gave you life for a reason. Reach out to Him. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for His help. You will never feel alone when you have Him. He never left you. You closed the door to your faith and God.

We can turn our lives around no matter what our choice had been that left us in turmoil. It took you a long-time to become addicted, it will take a long-time to heal. The important issue is to believe in your mind and heart that you can and have faith in God.

Alberta Sequeira


The Reality of Alcohol Abuse on Families

January 15, 2018

Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round

Here is a memoir that hides nothing with the effect of alcoholism on the whole family. Parents putting their alcoholic mate before the security, comfort, and love of their children.

It show how enabling is innocent in the hearts of the sober person not realizing that their actions only bringing the alcoholic deeper into their addiction. Enabling to the point of making no demands that the drinker gets professional help and the years go by with the confusion and fear which becomes a normal way of living.

Here are some reviews:

Joyce K. Walsh
Well-written and fast-paced, Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round is a poignant and painfully truthful story about being married to an alcoholic husband in denial. This gripping drama captures the reader’s attention in its depiction of the devastating toll of alcoholism as the family tries to compensate for the lack of emotional stability, loss of income and, ultimately, physical and mental abuse. More than just a personal memoir, this book offers important insights into the descent of the frequent drinker into full-blown alcoholism and the enabling behavior that provides the drinker with easy excuses. Ms Sequeira does not spare herself in this equation but, through it all, we are hoping that she will prevail.

John Castelot
As a recovering alcoholic, I found Alberta’s book very moving. It’s rare that the alcoholic gets to see the damage and destruction from the loved ones side. There were many tough moments as I thought back to events and people that the book pulled from the the recesses of my mind. This book is meant to share!

I couldn’t put this book down. I have been unable to read a complete book for the last 8 years and this one I couldn’t put down. Not only is it an easy read but anyone who has been in an alcoholic marriage will find comfort in this. This is not a self help book but it gives you the realization that someone else has felt exactly what you felt and you were not crazy.

Alberta Sequeira

Books at
Email:…I love to hear from you!

Winter Blues

January 8, 2018


The summer is gone and how we wait for it to return. The days make us realize what the sunshine does to us mentally. You feel the heat, wear less clothing, enjoy the beach, a walk in the park, open windows, warm air, or whatever else brings you relaxation.

Now, we are faced with the wintertime. Yes, depressing. The snow, ice, shoveling, the howling winds, chills, boots, heavy coats, and being locked-in our homes, oil bills, all can overwhelm us.

Even the robin waits for that worm to come out of the once frozen ground!!

This is a good season if you love the outdoors; sliding, skiing, ice fishing, going to the states with tons of snow. Bless you all. I’m the person in the cabin keeping the coffee hot. HATE, HATE winter.

But, we have to hold on. Only a few more months of horrible cold and snow. Getting depressed or letting boredom enter, makes you want to throw it all away and go for that drink or meet the friends who pull you down with sobriety.

If you can afford it, take a few days off and go where it’s warm. Head South. Not many of us are that comfortable financially for that move. What brings you fun? Getting together with sober friends can help. Get a good book, take in a movie, enjoy spending your time with a special person.

This season and depressing moments are a challenge. Why not look into who you can help? Go into senior places, the VA locations, or hospitals. See others who are worse off than you. Bring someone joy for the day, can also bring you joy. Go to your place of prayer. Getting close to God is the highest you can go with peace. Know you are not alone.

Alberta Sequeira

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Addict’s Forgiveness

January 4, 2018


Transforming Your Addiction

January 4, 2018

by Hal Baumchen, PsyD, LP, LADC
This lesson will help us examine the thoughts and beliefs in uencing our feelings and actions. Negative and pessimistic thoughts lead to worrisome and depressive feelings and careless or poorly planned actions. Negative thoughts greatly impact every aspect of addiction and include distortions, inaccurate exaggerations, irrelevant thoughts, misperceptions, doubts, deceptions, and the lies we tell ourselves. Thoughts, feelings, and beliefs often become confused and distorted, especially with substance use and abuse. Confused thoughts and inaccurate beliefs lead to compromised actions. You must change the way you think in order to strengthen your recovery. Included are ten principles of self-change. Discover how to recognize, refute, and replace automatic thoughts, and learn to change the way you think, feel, and act.
This lesson is available at
Content © 2017 Hal Baumchen, PsyD, LP, LADC

The following lesson will help you examine the thoughts and beliefs that in uence our feelings and actions. These thoughts and beliefs can be either positive or negative. When the thought is negative and pessimistic, it may
lead to worrisome and depressive feelings, and carelessly or poorly planned actions. Negative thoughts include distortions, inaccurate exaggerations, irrelevant thoughts, misperceptions, doubts, deceptions, and lies we tell ourselves. Thoughts, feelings, and beliefs often become confused and distorted, especially with substance use and abuse. Confused thoughts and inaccurate beliefs lead to compromised actions. You must change the way you think in order to strengthen your recovery. Understanding the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behavior is essential to recovery. The following 10 points will clarify how changing your thinking will bene t your recovery.
1. Change is possible. Out of respect for yourself and others, you can change yourself.
2. The foundation of change is a change in your thinking.
3. Change is made possible through simple, but systematic e orts in a single direction over time.
4. The will to change can be developed.
5. The ability to change can be strengthened.
6. The enemies of change can be identi ed and minimized.
7. It is critical to understand the interaction between the environment, circumstances, and your thinking.
8. Thoughts rule. Perceptions, attitudes, and feelings are in uential lobbyists, but not decision-makers.
9. Healing for psychological pains of the past requires a change in your thinking in the present.
10. Successful change is inspirational. Motivational momentum can be maximized.
Negative thoughts in uence your feelings and actions and drive your addiction. Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs for short) are those deeply held, and often repeated, pessimistic perceptions that lead to intense emotions and wayward actions. ANTs can ruin any picnic and derail your positive mood. Every automatic negative thought, in my opinion, carries a crumb of truth. Therefore, it is necessary to re ect on which thoughts are distorted and which thoughts are accurate. It may be di cult at rst to identify the distorted thoughts.
Negative thoughts that accompany drug and alcohol use are often irrational and
exaggerated. They fuel the addiction and make it di cult to change.
Consider the following ve-step process to analyze thinking: 1. Recognize negative thoughts.
2. Refute negative thoughts.
3. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
4. Rehearse the positive substitution. 5. Repeat the process as necessary.
Recognize Refute Replace Rehearse Repeat
All content © 2017 Hal Baumchen, PsyD, LP, LADC |
Transforming Your Life Through Positive Thoughts
page 1

Let’s examine each of these more carefully.
1. Recognize negative thoughts. Oftentimes we have di culty recognizing our negative thoughts for what they are. As you grow in recovery you are more able to recognize pessimistic and nonconstructive thoughts as they come. Recognition of the intrusive negative thought allows you to take it captive, weigh its validity, and accept or reject it.
Identify three negative thoughts you have had recently.
2. Refute negative thoughts. As you analyze the thought, determine if it is destructive and damaging. If it is, you can decline it and discard it.“That is not true and I will not accept it.”You can kick it to the side and refuse to en- tertain it as legitimate. Do not believe every thought you think is true, wholesome, and helpful. Determine if it is true and reject it when it is not. When you listen to the radio or watch TV, you will likely hear or see a commercial asking you to come down and buy a new car. You instantly identify the thought as irrelevant information and a re- quest that did not pertain to you. You automatically kick that thought to the side and disregard it without giving it any consideration. Our thoughts can be reviewed in a similar way. We have many thoughts each day presenting distorted information and inappropriate requests. It is our right and duty to kick those thoughts to the side. Many of our own thoughts are distorted, inaccurate, and illegitimate. Treat them as such.
Glancing back at the thoughts you previously wrote, write a statement rejecting, refusing, or refuting each of them.
3. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. After you have refused a negative thought, nd a positive alternative or substitute. Think about things that are true, right, and wholesome. “I can’t do this” becomes “I am making progress”.
Write a positive alternative for each of the following negative thoughts.
I can’t do anything right. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________
No one loves or cares about me. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________
I am an idiot. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________
All content © 2017 Hal Baumchen, PsyD, LP, LADC | Transforming Your Life Through Positive Thoughts page 2

My future is hopeless. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________
I will never beat this addiction. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________
Glance again at each statement you wrote at the beginning of this exercise and nd a positive substitute for it. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________
4. Rehearse the positive substitution. Because the negative thought or negative line of thinking has been rehearsed so many times in the past, it will be necessary to rehearse the positive substitution as well. You can replace negative and fear-based self-talk with positive, realistic, and empowering statements. Rehearsing positive substitutions may take some practice to become pro cient and feel more natural. You may nd it helpful to write positive self-statements on a card and keep it with you. Perhaps you could rehearse your positive statements when standing in line, early in the morning, or while walking on the treadmill.
Name a time and strategy to rehearse your positive substitutions. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________
5. Repeat the process as necessary. As you work through this process, it is likely another negative thought is on its way. Repeat the steps as often as necessary in order to stay upbeat and at peace. Challenge your worries and fears as often as it takes.
List three to ve situations you are likely to face where your thoughts become increasingly more negative. Re ect on various ways to diligently use the 5Rs.
All content © 2017 Hal Baumchen, PsyD, LP, LADC | Transforming Your Life Through Positive Thoughts page 3

A Spiritual Renewal: A Journey to Medjugorje

December 11, 2017

Review by Thomas Cirignano

For me, reading A Spiritual Renewal was truly uplifting and inspiring. To use those words to honestly characterize a literary work these days is quite rare. It was refreshing that there was no sensationalism to be found, just the author’s heartfelt description of events.

Coincidentally, my reading of Alberta Sequeira’s story was well timed. It was a point in my life when I needed to be reminded that faith is often renewed when we most need it. Does that happen because we, as human beings, search for answers during times of loss and chaos, or does a Higher Power search us out when we truly need it? I’m not overly religious. In fact, I’ve been called “Doubting Thomas” more times than I care to admit. But even I could relate to this story because special coincidences, which most people would consider miracles, have happened to me, just as they did in this author’s life. It was good to read that I am not unique in that respect.

One of the biggest questions we all ponder in life is whether loved ones who have passed on, or other heavenly entities, such as God, The Blessed Mother, or angels actually do watch over us during our lifetimes. All I can say is, read A Spiritual Renewal, look back at the events of your own life, and then decide for yourself.

Reading this book was time well spent.
<a href="http://Purchase A Spiritual Renewal at”>
Purchase A Spiritual Renewal at

Need a Speaker?

December 10, 2017


Substance Abuse Talks

Since 2007, a year after losing my daughter, Lori, I have been speaking at halfway homes, court-ordered programs, jails, substance abuse rehabs, to their families, schools, and to the public.

My heartwarming talks are reaching out to the alcohol and drug addicts. I want to help them believe in themselves, hold their heads up high, develop the desire to recover, to realize that no one is going to get them to sobriety but themselves. They need to hear someone say they can, so, here I go. “You can do it!” Believe it in your heart and think it in your mind. I teach them how and why to forgive. The importance of having God in their lives. They will never be alone. And most importantly, to never forget the one word: CHOICES! It’s a very powerful word. These are some of the topics that I cover. No blaming, no accusing, just giving them back their souls and remembering who they used to be.

References from the Bristol Correction Office at Faunce Corner Road in North Dartmouth, MA:
1. Rui M. Lima, MA, MSW, LICSW, Director of Substance Abuse & Social Servies Programs & Treatment: Telephone: 508-995-6400 ext. 2821
2. Matthew Robitaille, Director of Classification and Progams; Telephone: 5080995-6400 ext. 2504

Email me for a quote:

My books on alcohol abuse can be purchased at

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