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What would I change?

May 27, 2017


What would I change after losing my husband, Richie and my daughter, Lori, from their alcohol and drug abuse? I’ve been asked that question numerous times.

I would have let the laundry wait until I had a cup of coffee to ask Richie and Lori how their day went the night before. Who were they with? Did anything unusual happen?

I would have taken the time to ask them to sit down calmly the next day of them walking in late and talked about what the family went through with them coming home in a blackout; talking about Richie’s actions bringing fear and confusion into the family, especially his two young daughters. I would have mentioned the abuse he was starting with me physically and mentally on his daughters. There would have been no fights or yelling talking to him. Showing my love wanting to help him.

Last, I would have made demands the first time problem started to show. If he had no desire to get professional help, I would have protected our children than doing it for him. If the family does not make rules and forbid any abusive or mental actions within the family, we innocently drag the substance abuser deeper into their addiction.

So, my advice the day after an event of confusion and fear is to try communicating. Ignoring the situation makes everyone think that the alcoholic life is normal.

Alberta Sequeira
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