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Drinking and Our Thinking

April 2, 2016

man praying on hill

When you go out with a drunk, you’ll notice how a drunk fills your glass so he can empty his own. As long as you’re drinking, drinking is okay. Two’s company. Drinking is fun. If there’s a bottle, even if your glass isn’t empty, he’ll pour a little in your glass before he fills his own.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK, Invisible Monsters

Alberta Sequeira

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Who is Alberta Sequeira

December 14, 2015


I feel as if I’m like any ordinary woman. As a teenager, my dreams were like anyones with wanting a marriage with a man crazy about me and having five children. A bonus with a home surrounded by that white picket fence would have been the frosting on the cake.

Sometimes, our dreams and wants don’t come the way we wanted them. I thought my husband was a kind, gentle, loving person. I know he was ambitious when we met while his buddies were running around looking for girls, he was going to school in Boston to take up electronics. He started his own television repair shop in North Dighton, Massachusetts when we married.

God blessed us with two beautiful daughters, Debbie and Lori, four years apart. What more could I have wanted? I had it all.

But love is blind. It’s not just a saying. I saw Richie drinking with his buddies numerous times and believed my girlfriend that boys did that to look macho….or I wanted to believe it.

After five years of marriage and Debbie’s birth, our lives turned upside down with fear, confusion, insecurities and abuse, when Richie stayed out night after night after working drinking with friends at the bar next door to his job. Lori came into our lives and by then the drinking had Richie in blackouts.

I was young and ignored reaching out for help from family or professionals because I had been embarrassed for them to see me staying with him. So his addiction went deeper until I divorced a man I loved. He died at forty-five years of age from cirrhosis of the liver.

The demons returned and captured Lori as a teenager and by thirty-seven, she was going into rehabs for two years, she lost her fight. At thirty-nine, she was put to rest with her dad.

Addiction isn’t a disease you let go by thinking “It’s a stage; I can give it up anytime,” etc. As soon as you see substance abuse is becoming a problem, you jump on it with professional help. If your child is under eighteen, put them into a center to get help, even if they scream hating you. Better they do, but they will be alive.

I took my pain and published Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round; An Alcoholic Family in Crisis, opening up about my mistakes with how I handled alcohol abuse in our family. After Richie’s death and Lori’s, I wrote the sequel Please, God, Not Two; This Killer Called Alcoholism about Lori’s struggle and her death.

I wanted to know how an alcoholic or a drug addict felt emotionally struggling and wanting to give their habit up. What did I miss? What could I have done? So I reached out to 34 substance abusers with alcohol, drugs and prescriptions to find out with their stories in my Narrative Non-Fiction What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholics and Addicts; In Their Own Words.

I talk behind closed doors at halfway homes, substance abuse rehabilitation centers, court-ordered programs and to the public when asked. Does it all help me? It’s not about me. I want to help someone like Richie and Lori to first learn to love themselves again and fight for their lives. To learn that they are not bad. They got lost in the wrong crowd and turned to numb themselves instead of dealing with problems.

God sends us on paths we are unfamiliar with or dream we’d be traveling on with His guide to helping others.

I hope, if you are suffering like our family had or lost someone, take the time to read my books. What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic is a tremendous help to the addicted and their families. You get right into the mindset of the addicted.

Alberta Sequeira

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Daily Meditations From the A. A. Book: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

September 25, 2013

God holding a man

You are never alone with your struggles with addiction with God beside you!

All thoughts, meditations and prayers for the day, come from the 1975 edition of Twenty-Four Hours a Day published by Hazelden Publishing. It is a small booklet written for AA members.

“The Serenity Prayer”

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference. 

Thought for the Day

Another of the mottoes of A.A. is “Live and let live.” This of course means tolerance of people who think differently than we do, whether they are in A.A. or outside of A.A. We cannot afford the luxury of being intolerant or critical of other people. We do not try to impose our wills on those who differ from us. We are not “holier than thou.” We do not have all the answers. We are not better than other good people. We live the best way we can and we allow others to do likewise. Am I willing to live and let live?”

Meditation for the Day

“And this is life eternal, that we may know Thee, the only true God.” Learning to know God as best you can draws the eternal life nearer to you. Freed from some of the limitations of humanity, you can grow in the things that are eternal. You can strive for what is real and of eternal value. The more you try to live in the conscience of the Unseen world, the gentler will be your passing into it when the time comes for you to go. This life on earth should be largely a preparation for the eternal like to come.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may live each day as though it were my last. I pray that I may live my life as thought it were everlasting.

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