Sorry for no posts in the last few months. I have been sick. Hopefully, I am now on my feet and will start sending educational news your way this week.
Thanks for your support!!
Sarah from All Pro Media Group interviewed Alberta on her new book What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict. She tells her story about losing her husband and daughter to their alcohol addiction and why she wanted to write the testimonies from others suffering from this worldwide disease. It is an educational book for other substance abusers, doctors, counselors and family members to learn what the addict needs to recover.
What better source than going directly to the alcoholic or drug user themselves to find the answers? Alberta wanted to know why some users fight all the odds and come out winning to get out of denial and recover while others like her husband and daughter died.
This half hour audio is worth listening to to learn what the addicted are asking for and giving them a voice.
I would like to introduce What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict: In Their Own Words by offering the $14.95 book for $10.00 up until December 31, 2013. It is a different kind of book to give as a gift for any occasion, including Christmas, but it is a book that may open doors for the family to start discussions on the problem of addiction with a loved one.
The s/h will be $3.00 in the USA and $13.00 to Canada. Other states I would have to give a quote. Go to http://www.albertasequeira.com and the PayPal button is available.
The book will be autographed, and if you wish for the book to go directly to another person after you pay through PayPal with any credit card, there is a section to fill out on who to ship it to as a gift. I will autograph the book personally to the person it is being sent to if you wish.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict?
Date: Thursday, February 6, 2014
Time: 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Location: Lakeville Library, 4 Precinct Street, Lakeville, MA.
Admission: Free. Call 508-947-9028 for a count of attendees. (no names)
Coffee and Refreshments will be available
Do you ever wonder why some alcoholics and drug addicts survive while others die from this horrible disease? What do they need from family members to get out of denial? Author and Speaker, Alberta Sequeira, will be hosting a Book Launch on her Narrative Non-Fiction What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict: In Their Own Words written by 34 alcoholics and drug abusers telling what hasn’t and doesn’t work in their recovery programs. Her guest speakers, Phil Paleologos and Tom Cirignano, are co-authors of the book and will talk about the side of abusing alcohol while Ms. Sequeira talks from the family side after losing her husband, Richard Lopes and her daughter, Lori (Lopes) Cahill both of North Dighton, Massachusetts, from their own addiction.
This is an educational and eye-opening event for other substance abusers, doctors, counselors, family members, teenagers, and society to see what the addicts need to get out of denial and what role professionals and family members play in their loved one’s recovery.
What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict will be available for purchase and autographed by all three speakers for $12.00. There will be time for Q&A and coffee and refreshments will be served.
Alberta Sequeira of Rochester is an Author, Motivational Speaker, Awareness Coach on Alcoholism, and a producer, director and co-host to the NBTV-95 Cable TV Show out of New Bedford, Massachusetts.
Phil Paleologos is a 45 year veteran broadcaster and host to the WBSM Radio Station (1420 AM) in Fairhaven, Massachusetts. He is one of the nation’s top 100 Talk Show Hosts. He is also the owner of the Shawmut Diner in New Bedford with his wife, Celeste. Phil will be telling his life-story about fighting years of addiction to alcohol abuse and how he came out of denial to be 30 years sober.
Tom M. Cirignano, from Lakeville, Massachusetts is an Author of The Constant Outsider and 67 Cents. He will talk about how you don’t have to be an full-blown alcoholic to have drinking become a problem in many areas of your life.
Do you think alcohol and drug abuse is a family problem or do you feel that an addict should have complete privacy with their counseling, omitting family completely, which addicts consider to be the most important part of their recovery? This is a topic that can be looked at in many ways for many reasons.
Last week, my husband, Al, and I were interviewed for a half hour by radio host Phil Paleologos from the WBSM Radio Show (1420 AM) from Fairhaven, Massachusetts. Phil did a Book Launch on my new release What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict: In Their Own Words.
There were numerous reasons as to why he wanted to help us give a voice to the addicted. Phil has been sober for over thirty-years and is one of the thirty-four co-authors telling their story in this book on how they started drinking, the struggles to recover, and what hasn’t and doesn’t work in getting help. They also tell family what they need from parents, partners and siblings with giving support to help them by helping them get out of denial. This goes as far as advice to doctors and counselors on what they feel is needed from them as professionals.
One contributor wrote: “I would tell counselors and doctors to listen to us. We are drinking for a reason, but can’t stop on our own. Help us identify the reason we are drinking. What are we afraid of? What are we trying to hide, our insecurities, our short-comings? Maybe we just don’t like who we are sober and truly believe we are better people when we are drinking or using drugs. Most of all, treat us as humans and not a disease.”
The radio show attracted a lot of listeners with call backs. One recovering alcoholic was very firm on secrecy in his counseling. He did not agree with Al and I that family should be involved if that is the addict’s wish. I agreed that privacy to any person suffering with an illness and getting counseling is number one.
I tried to explain the difference when it gets to the point that a doctor has confirmed that your loved one is at a life-threatening situation with their liver and other organs at the point of shutting down and the addict can’t stop their habit. Lori had deep rooted problems as a child, and as her mother who lived through those nightmarish days, I had the answers she was looking for to help put things in perspective. For two years we watched her reach what AA calls “Rock Bottom” but couldn’t pull herself out to survive. Lori died November 22, 2006 at thirty-nine years of age.
I attended Al-Anon for over five years and here is my opinion with AA and Al-Anon meetings. (Taken from the Introduction in What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict).
“You hear and read that alcohol abuse is a ‘family disease,’ yet it’s not treated that way. We have AA, Al-Anon and Alateen meetings daily, with family members going to their separate gatherings behind closed doors, alcoholics to the AA meeting, the parents and siblings to the Al-Anon meeting, and the teens to the Alateen meetings.
“They group together and keep everything that was discussed to themselves; they don’t share what they’ve learned with each other, or discuss their feelings about what they’ve heard, especially not what each person needs to help them understand how they enable the abuser and what to do to show the addict that he/she is loved and has the support of the family. Some professionals work only with the addict, cutting out the family entirely and leaving the substance abusers to fight their own battle, even when they’re not in enough of a healthy emotional state to make good choices about their lives.
“What is a family member taught behind these so-called closed door meetings? This is what I was told, ‘The alcoholic has to do it on their own. They have to reach rock bottom. Don’t worry about them, take care of yourself. Go on with your life as normally as you can. Separate yourself.’ This belief is actually teaching every family member not to communicate and work together with their loved one who is on a death path.
“This belief, which we’ve been taught for years, that the addicted have to reach rock bottom, is so sad. Lori and Richie’s rock bottoms were their deaths. There is no need to let people get so deep into their addiction that we allow them freely to reach the stage of dying. They suffer emotional and mental pain, which can institutionalize them and lead to suicide, when a family can pull together as a unit to give the love and support from the very moment of the discovery that there is a problem. Alcohol and drugs become a problem when they cause serious disruptions in any form with the substance abusers lives or others around them.”
Parents will always have a divided heart with the right side looking at logic and the left side of carrying the heart trying to deal with the loss. December 18, 2013, Al and I meet with Senator Michael Rodrigues to try to modify the Patient Privacy Act for the substance abusers and the mentally ill. I say modify and not change the Act.
February 6, 2014 on a Thursday evening from 6 pm-8 pm, I will run a speaking engagement on “The Effect of Alcoholism on the Whole Family” at the Lakeville Library at 4 Precinct Street at the corner of Route 18 and Route 105. I want this to be a family event.
My two guest speakers will be WBSM Radio host Phil Paleologos and author Tom Cirignano from Lakeville who are two of the contributors to What is and isn‘t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict. We are aiming at inviting the alcoholic, drug addicts, teenagers, family members, counselors, doctors and anyone with addiction in the family to hear two recovery alcoholic say what they needed to heal from their habit. I will then talk from the family side on what we encounter with our own enabling and allowing the confusion and fear to continue to disrupt our family life and only bring the alcoholic deeper into their addiction.
Mark your calendars. We hope to meet you!
Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism the sequel to Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round:
Coming into the ICU unit, we pushed a large button on the wall, Al and I walked through automatic doors that lead to another set of double doors. We went down a corridor that curved around the nurses’ station. We were finally going to get private time to talk to Lori. I didn’t want to see her in pain.
A nurse pointed out her room to us. We entered, and my heart quickened. She had been put on life support! I expected to see my daughter awake and being able to talk. Why didn’t someone warn me?
There was a long tube going down her throat with IV’s in her right arm. A catheter had been placed in her, and I could see the urine bag on the side of the bed. She lay so still, in a coma. The room echoed with a swishing sound as the air was pumped into her from the machine. Her chest expanded each time the air was forced into her lungs. The heart monitor had the steady, timely rhythm of her heart rate.
I leaned over the bedside railing, and kissed her on the forehead. I fell apart. This can’t be happening. I gently rubbed my hand over her left arm, holding her hand and kissing it. There were two chairs facing her. Al and I sat quietly and just stared at her.
I focused on her features. My beautiful daughter was being taken from me. This horrible, cruel, hellish demon wasn’t happy with just taking her father. She was only thirty-nine years old. There was too much left for her to do. She was supposed to fight this killer.
I couldn’t believe how Lori’s condition had changed. Her hands, stomach, legs and face were doubled in size. I felt sick inside at seeing her in this state. She was losing her normal features.
She was completely swollen because her kidneys were not working and the fluid had nowhere to go. I kept watching the urine bag praying to see it fill, but it stayed dry. Her process of urinating had stopped. Her face was swollen like a balloon. I lifted the sheet and saw that her knees were not even defined, being twice the normal size.
God, take this from her. Give her the strength to fight and come back. My mind didn’t want to face what was actually happening. We need a miracle, God.